Hey Soul With No Valentine

Hello Darling! 

You really can find beauty in the mess!
This one, this one is for the girls..... 

Hey soul ! Yes, you girlfriend!

Girl in her mid-twenties who has been a bridesmaid more times than she has digits on her hands and wonders, "Will I ever be THE bride?"

For the one who he finally put a ring on it, wedding bells were chiming, and then....truth came to light, exposed little white lies unveiling unfaithfulness before you walked down aisle . Betrayal stung! Your house of dreams fell apart and washed away! Years you have worked to forgive, to regain trust. In the rearview mirror, you now can have Garth theology. Thank God for "unanswered prayers ".

Hey girl! The one in her mid-thirties that is convinced that all the good fish in the sea have already been caught . For the girl in your 40s whose husband abandoned and left those scars of rejection stamped on your heart. And Facebook materializes mistress who is now living the life you once had. Your soul crushed as he chooses her over your babies. 😭

To the one in your 40s who gave your second hand heart to Peter Pan, the boy who is still living in the high school hallways; willing to fly in and make grand gestures of establishing trust with your kids only to throw away your lifetime friendship for the kidless platinum blonde. I know, you feel your seething pain goes unseen. You  walk on "wearing your pain like stilettos".

To the widow who laid husband down in red earthen ground before she got a chance to live out retirement dreams ...... To all the hearts that would rather pull up the covers and pretend today is not Valentine's without a Valentine, it's far easier to grow cynical throwing up prison bars around a shut down heart, but that's no way to authentically live. Take heart do not be dismayed! There is good news!!!!

He is THE good news! You are never alone . You are chosen, you are crowned! You are clothed with strength and dignity! In HIS love, your true identity is rooted in Him! His love will set you free! His love will take you places! His love makes your RED SEA moment part and breathes new life into a broken heart! Keep your head up so your princess crown won't fall! Make a choice, a choice to love anyway!

Until the whole world hears be blessed in your beautiful mess!
Katie


Music:
This One's For the Girls: Martina McBride

Peter Pan: Kelsea Ballerini

Stilettos: Kelsea Ballerini

Anyway: Martina McBride

Love Will Take You Places: Danny Gokey

Top Ten Remedies for Insecurity

I have come to realize the first year after Micah died was moving toward acceptance of his death, assuming my new role as head of this family, and rediscovering my identity. After being a caregiver for him for so long, I forgot about what I liked to do, what I like to eat, and what it was like to make decisions without having someone else to consult. This year taught me that I had only partly come to acceptance. I didn’t realize that to complete my healing I needed to accept being single and a single parent. I only thought I had rediscovered my identity! In order for my healing to be complete I needed to regain my security. The only way to be truly secure is to know your true identity; a child of God! Once you know you are His you quit giving this world and other people power to take your security. You know that God is God and He is all powerful that He is more powerful than your circumstances and he can orchestrate events to work things for good beyond your wildest dreams. He is the Blessed Controller!

 

TOP TEN REMEDIES FOR INSECURITY:

 

1. Don’t give your power away: Have to stop handing people the kind of power only God should have over us.
    
2. Believe everything God says about us is true.
    
3. Putt off self- condemnation/perfectionism:  Let your eyes open to the glorious reflection we have in His glorious reflection. Then we will see the treasure we are. (Psalm 90:17 And the beauty of the Lord will be upon us; Loveliness of the Lord rests on us MSG)
    
4. Believe God will always love you and take care of you: The root of insecurity is that no one will take care of you which produces primal fear (Isaiah 46:4 Even in your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am who will sustain you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and rescue you.)
    
5. Put on Rejection Protection: Guard your heart: don’t give your heart away easily and too soon. (Proverbs 4:23-Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it NIV; Keep a vigilant watch over your heart that’s where life starts MSG)
    
6. Let God Heal Your Broken Heart: Isaiah 61:1 He sent me to ….heal the broken hearted
    
7. Let God tell you your worth: Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth! You are worth wanting, loving, liking, pursuing, fighting for and keeping. (Isaiah 41:9-10 I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. )
    
8. Proclaim the goodness of God: Unwelcome change can be a breeding ground for insecurity because it invites you to become addicted to dread. You live life expecting something bad to happen. A miserable trap of self-inflicted insecurity.
   (Psalm 119: 68 God is good and does good. God is righteous and kind; Exodus 34:6 The Lord is merciful and gracious, long-suffering and abounding in goodness and truth)
    
9. Regain confidence by knowing your God given identity: Be rooted strongly in your God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that away. We end up being fixated and looking in rather than looking up to look in. By looking up to the Father our dignity is rooted in how God views us. (You are my chosen servant, I have chosen you and have not rejected you Isaiah 41: 9)
    
10. Believe and claim you wear a crown and are clothed with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25 and Psalm 8:3 crowned with glory and honor)
     
    All in security is a cover up for unbelief; unbelief in ourselves; unbelief of God; of his love or that he will take care of us.
     

A Visit to the Pit!

I never really intended for this blog to be ongoing, but I didn’t really mean to take a year off from writing either. For those that I’m privileged to call friends know what a fight for life this past year has been for me.  I am thankful that these fingers still have life to type and that God has used believers, medical professionals and His word to heal me and bring me out of a very dark place. I pen this post not to gain sympathy or pity, but to be transparent. Transparency is a powerful tool in encouraging others trudging through the same struggles; in the same boat. Many times during that struggle the boat feels like it’s heading nowhere at all. If this is you at this very moment in time, hang in there and no even though it feels like eternity it’s temporary. More joy is on the way!

 

This past year was the perfect storm. I had a health issue go undiagnosed for a lengthy amount of time (ten months!). Then add in work, single mom stress, personal struggles, and family struggles and it was a perfect concoction to send me in a nose dive straight to the pit of depression. For the most part, the body of Christ thinks we should be immune to depression and anxiety, but we are not. Believers often add another layer on by feeling guilty that maybe we haven’t prayed right, prayed enough, or have some unconfessed sin in our life. Before we know it we have bought into lies of the enemy and think we are alone which leads to losing hope and feeling we are worthless. Beloved you are His child, you are NEVER alone!  We are still in a fallen world and souls clothed in flesh. Sometimes our bodies get out of whack, but there is help. I have found these to be the best way to combat depression:

 

1. Renew Your Mind: the 7 truths about God:

• God is God (Heb 11:6)
• God is Able (Eph 3:20)
• God is Good (Psalm 119:68)
• God Will Work (Romans 8:28)
• God Loves You (Romans 8:38-39)
• God’s Timing is Perfect
   
  2. Hide scripture in your heart
  
  3. Unlock Heaven: Did you know you have been given keys to the kingdom?(Matthew 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven)
   
  4. Put on your armor: (Ephesians 6:10)
  
  5. Exercise: Aim for 150 min a week; 45 min 3x a week
  
  6. Diet: eat well balanced diet; avoid caffeine, fried foods, and stay hydrated
   
  7. Medication: see a psychiatrist to see if you need medication
   

8. Relaxation: Guided Imagery: these are CDs to promote relaxation and by focusing your mind on visual images and bring down fight or flight or hyperarousal of the body.

Rhonda Jones: www.thechristianmeditator.com (can find on iTunes)

 

9. Massage: this may seem frivolous and can be expensive, but the beneficial effects of massage on the body are numerous. Some studies sight massage is the best medicine for the body.

 

10. Journalizing: The human psyche has no digestive tract. Feelings have to be purged. Journalizing is writing how you felt about events NOT just recording events that took place.

11. Create a circle: find healing friends who will carry you through your struggle

12. Have something ahead to look forward to: Have a Project before you with a deadline like scrapbook, writing, planning a trip or party. These will have you looking ahead and get you outside yourself.

13. Develop new dreams/hobby ( tennis, photography class)

15. Laugh : Find a new sitcom, go to the movies in your PJs

16. Don't ask what ifs: Many times what ifs never come to fruition and cause worry. Worry is not planning, it’s stealing. Don't walk through doors that aren't open.

17. Tell yourself it's just temporary you won't be like this forever: When we think we will live in the pit the rest of our days we have created self dread. Life will get better and you will have joy again. Fight or flight paralyzed us and tuned are minds to the taunts of the devil and drowns out the gentle wooing voice of the King.

 

18. Reach out to others in grief or struggles: Make cards and mail one to encourage someone once a week.