Symptoms of Grief

I greatly underestimated the physical symptoms of grief. After my husband's death, I actually spend a lot of time, effort, and money going to different doctors to make sure I did not have another physical condition because I could not fathom that grief could do these crazy things to my body.

Symptoms of grief can actually start prior to your loved ones death; known as ANTICIPATORY GRIEF. For me, anticipatory grief manifested in my body getting stuck in fight or flight. This constant action of adrenaline and cortisol pumping through my veins caused me to start having panic attacks. If you have never had panic attacks, count yourself blessed.  You feel like you are dying. With my husband’s illness, I think I always thought deep down that I would know when he started his decline and was nearing the end of his life. In retrospect, my body knew Micah was dying before I did.

Symptoms of grief include:

·       panic attacks

·       nausea

·       diarrhea

·       reflux

·       dramatic weight change (losing or gaining)

·       fatigue

·       achiness

·       foggy brain, dizziness

·       forgetfulness

·       working and short term memory issues

·       lack of concentration

·       hard time remembering people’s names

·       hard time sequencing tasks, or categorizing

·       depression

·       disturbed sleep/ night sweats

·       dry eyes or cloudy vision

·       irrational fears 

 All of my symptoms made it very hard to function let alone take care of 2 children. The best analogy I can give you is it was like having the stomach virus all night every night for 4 months and having to get up and take care of kids every day. There are several nights I can recall, that I could not even walk. I was crawling around on the floor picking up toys. I would ask God, “Please don’t leave me like this for the rest of my life. Heal me!” And God has been faithful to help me heal along this journey. If you are in the midst of grief, I know you feel like you will never climb up the mountain and feel joy again. Take heart my friend there is much more life out there for you. The journey to healing may be long, but you will get there.