Grief: Moving Beyond "Pop and Drop"

Grief defined: deep and poignant distress caused by bereavement, a cause of suffering, an unfortunate outcome (no joke!), disaster, mishap, misadventure (yes! I’ll agree it’s quite a ride, one I would not choose to get on!)

Grief can be caused by many life events, loss of job, infertility, suicide, relocation, miscarriage, deployment, accident, premature delivery, child being diagnosed with a disability, a rebellious teen, unexpected illness, and death. If we all experience grief at some season in our lives, why aren’t we taught how to deal with grief or help others in grief? Why is our culture mostly devoid of talking about the intense pain and emotions that come when grief breezes through the door? I firmly believe our churches and small group leaders would greatly benefit on regular training in this area.

If the corporate body of believers are truly going to be the hands and feet of Jesus we have to get past “the pop and drop” syndrome. Most of the time we pop a casserole in the oven, drop it off at the bereaving family’s house, say I’m sorry for your loss and ride off in the sunset and return to our daily routines. As a corporate body we truly mean well. Perhaps the church has not been taught how TO BE THE CHURCH! Please don’t mistake that I am saying meals do not help in times of loss, they certainly are. If we are truly to comfort one another in time of suffering, we have to get past “pop and drop” and provide consistent and ongoing outreach to the grieving. I am so thankful that God has provided me with my healing people during this season.

Should we then drop all the balls we juggle in our lives and completely dedicate our lives to consoling the grieving? Let’s take a closer look into scripture about helping those in need. In Luke 10 Jesus begins by instructing that we are to: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind and love your neighbor as yourself. And then he speaks of a man who was severely beaten by robbers and left on the side of the road. Others passed him by, but a Samaritan man stopped, bandaged his wounds, gave him transportation (on his donkey) into town to an inn. Then Samaritan man left the inn keeper with funds to take care of the man saying he would return and pay for any additional expenses he needed.

So what am I supposed to glean from this passage? So glad you asked. The Samaritan man helped the wounded, but he continued on his travels to take care of his business. He also gave his word he would return to check on him. The Samaritan did NOT abandon the rest of his calling while taking care of someone in need. If we will listen, God will tell us how to help the grieving, when to help the grieving, and how much to help the grieving.

“Whoever has ears to hear, let them hear.” (Mark 4:9) “ Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, “This is the way walk in it” (Isaiah 30:21)