Path to College: Successfully Launching a Young Adult

This fall my oldest started college! After all the college visits, soaking up senior year, and planning for move in, I feel a huge since of , "I did it! We made it!" 

I would venture to say that every parent aims to raise a kid to be an independent, productive member of society. Maybe my vocation of being a speech language pathologist in higher education gives me a unique perspective of the daily living and academic skills one needs to be successful after high school graduation. In our household, this process of preparing starts well before high school because learning any new skill takes practice.  When a parent aims to incrementally give over responsibilities starting in middle school, a high school graduate can leave the nest as a confident well adjusted college freshmen. 

What "AIMS" should parents have? 

From my observation successful adults have mastered skills in the following areas: 

• Academic Success
• Independent Life Skills
• Management of  Time and Finances
• Spiritually Grounded

If you are reading this and not a believer, that's okay. This may still be wise advise for raising well adjusted young adults. 

ACADEMIC SUCCESS: 

Getting to class: The first part of academic success is being able to wake up and go to class on time. Starting in 6th grade in our house, you are responsible for waking up with an alarm on your own. 

Communication with teachers is also vital part of academic independence. In middle school, I help my kids draft professional emails to their teachers and coaches and only step in to the student/teacher relationship when absolutely necessary. 

Studying/Tests/Projects: Important to teach middle schoolers how to plan ahead for projects and tests, so they can effectively manage their time and complete assignments on time or study ahead of time. Train them to write all assignments in a planner. 

AP/Dual Enrollment: I see so many students stressed about AP classes and Dual Enrollment courses. My thought is if they want to take these courses in subjects they really enjoy great! If the prospect of an increased course load or  having to go off campus for Dual Enrollment is a stressor, it's not a big deal. Let them enjoy high school! Make the decision that best suits your student. 

INDEPENDENT LIFE SKILLS:

Cooking: I've taught my kids a balanced meal consists of  a protein, fruit, veggie and carb. In middle school if they chose to pack a lunch , the responsibility fell on them. I also gave my kids the responsibility for selecting a menu for dinner one night a week and asked that they help prepare that meal. And yes! I heard lots of complaining! But now my freshmen calls me and asks me to send him his favorite recipes. 

Cleaning: My kids are responsible for cleaning their bathroom and room weekly. Notice I said clean as in hygienic. If they choose to live in a mess in their room, I let that be their choice and shut the door. But the room must be free of garbage, food, and vacuumed once a week. 

Laundry: Second semester of 6th grade, I had my kids start washing their own clothes. 

In order to get compliance with these life skills, I found it helpful to draft a contract with clear expectations and a time these tasks were expected to be completed, so no kid could say, "You never told me I had to do that!"

MONEY & TIME MANAGEMENT:

Parents differ on philosophy of teaching kids money management and giving an allowance for household chores. In order to teach my kids money management prior to them being old enough  to be employed, I reward them for completing household tasks on time with a small monetary reward.  This gives them the opportunity to learn money management principles and experience the delayed gratification of saving for an item they really desired to purchase. 

I have found Busy Kid  to be very helpful in teaching money management skills prior to a student being old enough for a checking account. The Busy Kid card is a loadable debit card. In the Busy Kid app, you can assign monetary value to chores and pay your child as well as send bonuses for trip money or special occasions. The app divides money into 3 categories and allows you to set the percentage for each category: Spend, Save, Share. 

In our house, we believe that all money belongs to God and He asks us to be a good steward of what we are given. He wants us to first share a portion of our income with others, spend some to live on, and save the rest. As you can imagine, teaching kids to share and save may be a difficult principles to learn and made need lots of practice, so I wanted to instill this early. 

In regards to time management, I've tried to instill in my kids work first, play later in order to prioritize tasks and manage their time. Also setting limits for screen time and keeping a regular bed time are important habits to learn as we won't be with them in college to tell them PlayStation time is over! 

SPIRITUALLY GROUNDED:     

My biggest aim as a parent was to produce kids with sticky faith; faith that would be their own and carried out in life beyond the walls of our home. Teaching them the core values of the Christian faith, ,how to solve problems and manage conflict using God's word was my main goal. I helped my kids evaluate situations in light of what behavior needed to be put off and what fruitful behavior needed to be put on. 

Our family was rooted in weekly worship and service in our local church. I tried to teach my kids that being involved in corporate worship as well as Christ centered community through attending a small group is essential to their faith journey. 

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self...and put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." 

Ephesians 4:22-24. 

As I move into the consulting phase of parenting with my oldest, I pray that all I aimed to teach helps him feel academically prepared, equipped with life skills, rooted in faith, and ready to soar into his new community!