Hey Soul With No Valentine

Hello Darling! 

You really can find beauty in the mess!
This one, this one is for the girls..... 

Hey soul ! Yes, you girlfriend!

Girl in her mid-twenties who has been a bridesmaid more times than she has digits on her hands and wonders, "Will I ever be THE bride?"

For the one who he finally put a ring on it, wedding bells were chiming, and then....truth came to light, exposed little white lies unveiling unfaithfulness before you walked down aisle . Betrayal stung! Your house of dreams fell apart and washed away! Years you have worked to forgive, to regain trust. In the rearview mirror, you now can have Garth theology. Thank God for "unanswered prayers ".

Hey girl! The one in her mid-thirties that is convinced that all the good fish in the sea have already been caught . For the girl in your 40s whose husband abandoned and left those scars of rejection stamped on your heart. And Facebook materializes mistress who is now living the life you once had. Your soul crushed as he chooses her over your babies. 😭

To the one in your 40s who gave your second hand heart to Peter Pan, the boy who is still living in the high school hallways; willing to fly in and make grand gestures of establishing trust with your kids only to throw away your lifetime friendship for the kidless platinum blonde. I know, you feel your seething pain goes unseen. You  walk on "wearing your pain like stilettos".

To the widow who laid husband down in red earthen ground before she got a chance to live out retirement dreams ...... To all the hearts that would rather pull up the covers and pretend today is not Valentine's without a Valentine, it's far easier to grow cynical throwing up prison bars around a shut down heart, but that's no way to authentically live. Take heart do not be dismayed! There is good news!!!!

He is THE good news! You are never alone . You are chosen, you are crowned! You are clothed with strength and dignity! In HIS love, your true identity is rooted in Him! His love will set you free! His love will take you places! His love makes your RED SEA moment part and breathes new life into a broken heart! Keep your head up so your princess crown won't fall! Make a choice, a choice to love anyway!

Until the whole world hears be blessed in your beautiful mess!
Katie


Music:
This One's For the Girls: Martina McBride

Peter Pan: Kelsea Ballerini

Stilettos: Kelsea Ballerini

Anyway: Martina McBride

Love Will Take You Places: Danny Gokey

Top Ten Remedies for Insecurity

I have come to realize the first year after Micah died was moving toward acceptance of his death, assuming my new role as head of this family, and rediscovering my identity. After being a caregiver for him for so long, I forgot about what I liked to do, what I like to eat, and what it was like to make decisions without having someone else to consult. This year taught me that I had only partly come to acceptance. I didn’t realize that to complete my healing I needed to accept being single and a single parent. I only thought I had rediscovered my identity! In order for my healing to be complete I needed to regain my security. The only way to be truly secure is to know your true identity; a child of God! Once you know you are His you quit giving this world and other people power to take your security. You know that God is God and He is all powerful that He is more powerful than your circumstances and he can orchestrate events to work things for good beyond your wildest dreams. He is the Blessed Controller!

 

TOP TEN REMEDIES FOR INSECURITY:

 

1. Don’t give your power away: Have to stop handing people the kind of power only God should have over us.
    
2. Believe everything God says about us is true.
    
3. Putt off self- condemnation/perfectionism:  Let your eyes open to the glorious reflection we have in His glorious reflection. Then we will see the treasure we are. (Psalm 90:17 And the beauty of the Lord will be upon us; Loveliness of the Lord rests on us MSG)
    
4. Believe God will always love you and take care of you: The root of insecurity is that no one will take care of you which produces primal fear (Isaiah 46:4 Even in your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am who will sustain you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and rescue you.)
    
5. Put on Rejection Protection: Guard your heart: don’t give your heart away easily and too soon. (Proverbs 4:23-Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it NIV; Keep a vigilant watch over your heart that’s where life starts MSG)
    
6. Let God Heal Your Broken Heart: Isaiah 61:1 He sent me to ….heal the broken hearted
    
7. Let God tell you your worth: Your value does not decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth! You are worth wanting, loving, liking, pursuing, fighting for and keeping. (Isaiah 41:9-10 I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. )
    
8. Proclaim the goodness of God: Unwelcome change can be a breeding ground for insecurity because it invites you to become addicted to dread. You live life expecting something bad to happen. A miserable trap of self-inflicted insecurity.
   (Psalm 119: 68 God is good and does good. God is righteous and kind; Exodus 34:6 The Lord is merciful and gracious, long-suffering and abounding in goodness and truth)
    
9. Regain confidence by knowing your God given identity: Be rooted strongly in your God-given identity and the conviction that nothing can take that away. We end up being fixated and looking in rather than looking up to look in. By looking up to the Father our dignity is rooted in how God views us. (You are my chosen servant, I have chosen you and have not rejected you Isaiah 41: 9)
    
10. Believe and claim you wear a crown and are clothed with strength and dignity (Proverbs 31:25 and Psalm 8:3 crowned with glory and honor)
     
    All in security is a cover up for unbelief; unbelief in ourselves; unbelief of God; of his love or that he will take care of us.
     

A Visit to the Pit!

I never really intended for this blog to be ongoing, but I didn’t really mean to take a year off from writing either. For those that I’m privileged to call friends know what a fight for life this past year has been for me.  I am thankful that these fingers still have life to type and that God has used believers, medical professionals and His word to heal me and bring me out of a very dark place. I pen this post not to gain sympathy or pity, but to be transparent. Transparency is a powerful tool in encouraging others trudging through the same struggles; in the same boat. Many times during that struggle the boat feels like it’s heading nowhere at all. If this is you at this very moment in time, hang in there and no even though it feels like eternity it’s temporary. More joy is on the way!

 

This past year was the perfect storm. I had a health issue go undiagnosed for a lengthy amount of time (ten months!). Then add in work, single mom stress, personal struggles, and family struggles and it was a perfect concoction to send me in a nose dive straight to the pit of depression. For the most part, the body of Christ thinks we should be immune to depression and anxiety, but we are not. Believers often add another layer on by feeling guilty that maybe we haven’t prayed right, prayed enough, or have some unconfessed sin in our life. Before we know it we have bought into lies of the enemy and think we are alone which leads to losing hope and feeling we are worthless. Beloved you are His child, you are NEVER alone!  We are still in a fallen world and souls clothed in flesh. Sometimes our bodies get out of whack, but there is help. I have found these to be the best way to combat depression:

 

1. Renew Your Mind: the 7 truths about God:

• God is God (Heb 11:6)
• God is Able (Eph 3:20)
• God is Good (Psalm 119:68)
• God Will Work (Romans 8:28)
• God Loves You (Romans 8:38-39)
• God’s Timing is Perfect
   
  2. Hide scripture in your heart
  
  3. Unlock Heaven: Did you know you have been given keys to the kingdom?(Matthew 16:19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven)
   
  4. Put on your armor: (Ephesians 6:10)
  
  5. Exercise: Aim for 150 min a week; 45 min 3x a week
  
  6. Diet: eat well balanced diet; avoid caffeine, fried foods, and stay hydrated
   
  7. Medication: see a psychiatrist to see if you need medication
   

8. Relaxation: Guided Imagery: these are CDs to promote relaxation and by focusing your mind on visual images and bring down fight or flight or hyperarousal of the body.

Rhonda Jones: www.thechristianmeditator.com (can find on iTunes)

 

9. Massage: this may seem frivolous and can be expensive, but the beneficial effects of massage on the body are numerous. Some studies sight massage is the best medicine for the body.

 

10. Journalizing: The human psyche has no digestive tract. Feelings have to be purged. Journalizing is writing how you felt about events NOT just recording events that took place.

11. Create a circle: find healing friends who will carry you through your struggle

12. Have something ahead to look forward to: Have a Project before you with a deadline like scrapbook, writing, planning a trip or party. These will have you looking ahead and get you outside yourself.

13. Develop new dreams/hobby ( tennis, photography class)

15. Laugh : Find a new sitcom, go to the movies in your PJs

16. Don't ask what ifs: Many times what ifs never come to fruition and cause worry. Worry is not planning, it’s stealing. Don't walk through doors that aren't open.

17. Tell yourself it's just temporary you won't be like this forever: When we think we will live in the pit the rest of our days we have created self dread. Life will get better and you will have joy again. Fight or flight paralyzed us and tuned are minds to the taunts of the devil and drowns out the gentle wooing voice of the King.

 

18. Reach out to others in grief or struggles: Make cards and mail one to encourage someone once a week.

In The Waiting Part III: At His Feet

If you could have a major in high school, mine was music. In middle school I moved from metro city to small agriculture town kicking and screaming. What my family was surprised to discover was a gem of a town who esteemed fine arts and home to a legendary choral program. I relish the music we created, friendships formed , and memories created within those vaulted ceiling, white cinder block walls. The angst of beating hearts on sight reading and solo days and late night backstage rehearsals for our annual musical will be forever etched in our hearts and minds. Music was what my high school years were built around. Although God has me using my other gifts currently, music is still very near and dear to my heart. Music has been so instrumental in my comfort and healing in this season of grief.

I should not be surprised that He repeatedly is using music to teach and impart what he keeps speaking to my soul the last two weeks: waiting; finding redemption in the waiting; finding true freedom in complete surrender in the waiting. Continually reminding me to bare it all and lay everything at His feet. (I lose count of how many times a day I try and pick up the burdens back up again. )That's my God, that's how he works and his fingerprints emerge in our lives. He is whispering to me, "I see you, I'm here, I haven't forsaken you,". Matthew 6 continues to surface again and again:

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life....What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

 Beloved, know you can "never fall too far" away from the Father's arms. Complete surrender is found when we "lift our life up". Claiming redemption, surrender, and peace in your waiting!

Who You Are by Unspoken
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_N6sn1LLX8

Lift My Life Up by Unspoken:
Behind the song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZT0Z9MzpbZI

Song and lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj05-J9z4TY&list=PL8305D3447CD97386

In the Waiting Part II: Come to the Well

In seasons of waiting self condemnation may abound. The other falsehood the enemy would have to believe is that God is actually holding out on you; withholding a blessing. If we buy into the lie, self pity will give you a one way ticket into the darkness of hopelessness which breads discontentment.

When we feel sorry for ourselves and fall into hopelessness what we are chasing and seeking becomes an idol and we are following in our Israelites ancestors foot steps. Hoisting up a golden calf and declaring, "If you really loved me you would give me this one thing I so desperately want: the marriage , the healing , the pregnancy , the job ...." Putting the idol on a pedestal  and forgetting the miracles God performed to free and provide for his people. When in truth the "Father in heaven gives good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:11 NIV)

The word does NOT say chase after our heart's desires. What HE does say is seek first the kingdom...

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life...seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow...(Matthew 6:25-32 NIV) What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (Matthew 6:30-32 MSG)

My child there is only one way to discover the kingdom and remedy the emptiness that lingers within. You have to go to THE well, the well of living water. At the well, surrender your burdens at the Master's feet, quench your will with His. He is the only one who can give you rest, fill you up with love beyond measure. In  surrendering your desire and your timing for God's yields joy and contentment in the waiting.

Music:

Come To The Well: Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bW5unzXXC0k

You Are My Shepherd: Tricia Brock
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAQuJNHwLLE


All I Need: Bethany Dillon
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J20gwHbJDCY

In the Waiting: Receive Redemption

God has spoken so clearly two profound truths this week. Both in regards to the voices that creep in during times of waiting. One voice we hear profoundly in the waiting is condemnation. The enemy delights in feeding us an endless, persistent diet of reminders of the past. Nothing can so easily plunge a believer into the darkness as hearing the whispers declare that our past dictates the future; there is no redemption; no grace for our mistakes and sin. In this darkness, hope for the future cannot dwell and seeing the light appears impossible. We must practice in the dark what we have learned in the light.

My son, do not forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commandments...
    and peace they will add to you.

 Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you;
    bind them around your neck;
    write them on the tablet of your heart.

 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh    and refreshment to your bones.

(Proverbs 3:3-8)

Knowing God's word and having scripture imprinted on our hearts and minds helps us turn away from the evil dialogue and will bring peace, healing and refreshment! Child of God fix your eyes on the unseen and know that there is no place the grace of God cannot cover! Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1) if you have  declared "with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” (Romans 10:9-11) and take heart your transgressions have been removed as far as the east is from the west.
 
Casting Crowns: East from the West
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyoVJfADlwo

Press on and fight the good fight! It's just the dark before the morning! Hold on to the truth that God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. (Ephesians 3:20 MSG)

Josh Wilson: Before the Morning
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=New8i_eX3x8
In order to receive his grace and peace we have to unpack all the burdens we have carried for far too long and lay them all out on the alter at the Father's feet. Then and only then can he heal, restore, refresh, and renew our hope for the future.

Casting Crowns: At Your Feet
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yT6lFcM-Fv8

My beloved, I proclaim redemption, freedom, and peace in your waiting!

Blessings,
Jasmine

Waiting? He's Already There

So many times in life we are waiting to "see how all our fears and questions are going to play out". (Casting Crowns "Already There") The crib to be filled, the new job to materialize, the wayward child to come home, the marriage to be restored, the soul mate to be found, the illness to be healed, the emotional pain to cease. In the waiting God can seem silent. In the silence, our minds can fall prey the endless dialogue of lies the enemy will feed us to derail our faith. "God's forgotten about me!", "I must not be lovable.", "Where did I go wrong in my parenting?"

The truth of the matter is God is an on time God. God works in us even in his delay.
"Don’t overlook the obvious here, friends. With God, one day is as good as a thousand years, a thousand years as a day. God isn’t late with his promise as some measure lateness. He is restraining himself on account of you, holding back the End because he doesn’t want anyone lost. He’s giving everyone space and time to change." 2 Peter 3:9 MSG

My prayer for you is to seek transformation over comfort. Lay your idol at His feet. May you find peace and contentment in the waiting knowing we are called to run the race for His glory with passion, purpose, and perseverance! May these resources be as much of an encouragement to you as they have been to me!


John Waller: "While I'm Waiting"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6X71sXagUY

Already There Testimony: Casting Crowns
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W99gAQ_FRzY&noredirect=1